Sunday, June 6, 2010

Game Over - Part One

Note: All excerpts are posted in accordance with U.S copyright law, which allows such excerpts to be used for the purposes of, amongst other things, commentary and critique.

Since Nicky has been whining a lot lately about GAME OVER, I thought it might be fun to take a further look at this supposed masterpiece. Here are the opening two sentences (which should actually be three sentences):
Magazine deadline comes soon and not enough submissions, Eugine Verner ran a magazine which publishes everything and anything under the sun. He often shunned the idea from doing a genre mag, but he geared to the Gothic just not the blue collar kind though .
What a stunning example of grammatical beauty. Not. And who spells Eugene as Eugine? Nicky, apparently. I'm surprised that he manages to spell his own name correctly. Oh wait.... "Ablert". Anyway, the story continues:
He tends to like the elegant side but something ate at him, the deadline was ticking as a dark beast brooding in. The day was coming that he had to get it done. He had blue collar writers asking to be featured in the magazine but he usually ignored their requests. One blue collar writer actually invited him to contribute to a publication he ran, the response was one that was rather cold.
Someday Nicky is going to figure out how to keep one verb tense through an entire story, and it will shock the hell out of me.

The above passage is also where it becomes apparent that this is going to be another Gary Stu story where someone resembling Nicky takes revenge on someone resembling a conglomeration of several people that Nicky hates.

It continues:
Eugine was DJ on the north side of Chicago that spun EBM and refused to read Stephen King or Robert Bloch. The writers he turned down were the ones that were trying to kick down the doors were just those kind of writers.

Gary Stu for sure. This is Eugine talking about the writers he doesn't like:

“Some of these writers are just sick, but they refuse to touch the stuff I publish. I want PVC not denim clad, someone who spells alternative. Not these damned blue collar takes of Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits – Rod Serlings with long hair and listen to Metallica,”
Does that sound like the real-life rangtings anyone we know? Yep. As the story continues, we learn that the hero - the previously mentioned Eugine Verner - has a girlfriend who reads the magazine, In the Depths, which put out by the villain. The villain is described thusly:

...the editor is often hospitalized for some physical condition. They would say he drinks blood twice a year to keep himself healthy. He's always pictured wearing a black Lord's Gym hooded sweatshirt because he's a Christian....
...The editor amassed a controversial reputation because he's driven by his faith in the direction of the magazine he went from publishing blasphemous yarns to being more faith based with Gothic Horror yarns...
...the magazine is helmed by some god-mother-fucking-damned religious fanatic! No wonder why it's so disturbing. He doesn't publish erotic yarns in the mag, but in some way it's more disturbing than anything out there today...

Hahahahaha. Does Nicky write any stories these days that don't feature him as one of the characters? Although in this story, the Nicky character is the villain. Do you suppose that is a sign Nicky is becoming aware of what a jackass he really is?

Finally - for today's post - here is Eugine's co-editor Jerry talking about contributors to the villain's magazine:
“Many of the writers of In The Depths are well versed with heavy metal music and one of them read the book The Great God Pan while another was well versed with The King In Yellow. They did a story which made references to Victim Of A Higher Space. ”
Well, tomorrow we'll continue with the critique. More excerpts will follow. Maybe I'll even let Todd Hollins and Seth Miles have a go at it...when they're done with "Apt #2W" that is.

14 comments:

AngryInIllinois said...

I am not happy with my review because I left out the worst part of that "story".

Nicky can't write action sequences, he absolutely cannot write in the present tense. I think it causes him pain much like soap does. So towards the end people start to die with no character backstories or development whatsoever. Here are a few examples.

- "The contributors die mysteriously in a house of flames, almost if they were dragged into the lungs of hell on earth. Death came sudden for them. They didn't suffer but they died from inhalation of smoldering black smoke. The footsteps they felt in the flames were the touch of Death. Their trip to hell began the moment they died, and within the pages of SINNERS DANCE was a bastardized version of an illustration done for IN THE DEPTHS.

Bad enough they died simply for sending their story to a mag that rejected Nicky, but they don't even get their deaths written properly!

-"One of the c0ntributors to SINNERS DANCE actually touted to one of the contributors to IN THE DEPTHS saying, “I hope you die alone, you sick fucker – how dare you write about someone's death!”

That contributor fell into the icy Fox River. No one was able to find her body until months later – they were a frozen slab of flesh with no signs of life."

No shit they were dead after all that time moron!

AngryInIllinois said...

Shit Jenny delete my entry I'm sorry. I missed the part where this is a Part 1. What I just covered you probably will soon, so go ahead and delete my post.

Jenny said...

That's OK, the more excerpts the better! I agree that Nicky can't write action scenes, and I don't think he even knows what present tense and past tense mean.

The deaths were so funny - I think Jessica Wagner (gosh, wonder who that's a pseudonym for??) and Joe Capote both end up in the ocean.

Ah, well, all in good time. :)

a said...

Oh ya your part, which I find ironic because he accuses you of plagiarizing yet you had Tabloid Purposes Gemini started a few months ago and just yesterday he posts GLs for it, then pretends it was his idea first.

"Harsh lesson of stealing being the wages for it, demise! Demise hit them both hard as they were getting published within the pages of Eugine Verner's magazine."

"Demise! Scoundrel! A pox on thee!"

There are a lot of coins in this bitch. Constantly talking about coins on your eyes to pay the ferryman. More irony: irl Nicky needs coins for the bus to go see his fairy man. Steve I think his name is.

"He was wondering people were planning his funeral before his body dies. The coins where placed over his eyes in his nightmares – the ferryman was waiting for him and the dead were whispering his name. If was he being pulled into the pages of a story by Zorn Hritz, a writer who died at the age of 30, from unknown natural causes – his last story “Dance of the Haunter,” was in the pages of In The Depths."

Dance of the Haunter? lol

Anonymous said...

Pacione is not versed in the science of alchemy. His coin is no good with me.

Nickolaus Pacione said...

You faggots intented to pirate my novella -- that isn't the full novella that you're "reviewing" and I spoke with the owners of WritingForums.com -- they took the thread down about me that says avoid Lake Fossil Press. AngryInIllinois since when a proofer burns titles from the company.
    I actually came up with Tabloid Purposes: Gemini first you assholes. I was coming up with the GLS for a new Tabloid Purposes 6 because of the off-target submissions for the original planned Tabloid Purposes 6. You faggots had no rights to that novella.

AngryInIllinois said...

Great question Nicky.

The reasoning for me burning those books --because you were in them and only because of you-- caught the eye of the powers that be who realized LFP needed someone who cared about the reader more than their ego and would be willing to set fire to anything unfitting of the customer's money. My gumption is what got me the job, even with me pissing on the magazine!

Jenny, I've seen your writing and you have a gift. Would you consider submitting some of your work to LFP now that it's under new management? Talent like yours could help us get over the reputation a certain plagiarizer has given the company.

Lewis said...

Does that mean you're opening the doors to alternative romance Angry? And if so just how alternative are you willing to go?

Anonymous said...

Nicky's so funny when he's poked. He flails around in a spastic frenzy trying to damage everything within reach, which is about as effective as a scourge made of spaghetti. Keep it up, Nickykins!

And keep it up, Jenny--I really loved this review.

Jenny said...

Nicky, you are sorely mistaken if you think I only have 5,000 words of this (as you've claimed elsewhere). More excerpts to come soon...

AngryInIllinois said...

Lewis Lake Fossil Press is opening it's doors, front and "back" ;), to any and all GOOD work. So yes, Lake Fossil Press is now accepting alternate romance as well. Sex and horror have gone together quite nicely over the decades, so gone is the ban on anything sexual. Only someone with sexual issues wouldn't want ANY reference to sex in writing, wouldn't you agree?

Sadly, Lake Fossil has a poor reputation it's trying to change but that task is more difficult than you think. One idea proposed is to change the title to LFP, just as Kentucky Fried Chicken changed to KFC to hide the "Fried" part.

If you have alternate romance, go ahead and send it to me at lakefossilpress@gmail.com. Our only rule is that people send in original ideas, for example ripping off Jenny's title and idea for Tabloid Purposes Gemini is unacceptable. We believe there is enough creative magic out there that people don't need to steal it from Jenny and Lewis. Anymore at least.

hawkeanddove said...

I've been watching the antics of Nicky for a while. Honestly, I watch/read more for the information into the writing world more than the drama (although it's a bonus sometimes ;) ).

Jenny, I think your review was spot on. Thank you and keep them coming.

Angry - if this is the case then perhaps I may even submit a story. It will be my first submission, should I take that step, so is there any pointers you can give to make any story I may submit better?

Thanks in advance. And Nick - keep the lulz coming.

Lewis said...

Sadly Angry I currently have something of an exclusive contract with that fine publishing company The Ethereal Gazette. We've enjoyed a mutually beneficial relationship that I have no intention of risking, and that's not because the owner knows where I sleep.

Still I wish you and the new LFP all the best.

Anonymous said...

tee hee he was banned from writersforum.