Tuesday, December 21, 2010

12 Days of the Ethereal Gazette Issue 12 - Day 6

The Phantom Coach by Amelia B. Edwards

The name of this story is misspelled in the Table of Contents as “The Fhantom Coach”. This story is an older and presumably in the public domain, although Nicky also has the year of Ms. Edwards’s death incorrect.

Like most horror or Gothic stories from an earlier era, the story is slow moving and much of the “scare” relies on atmosphere rather than actual bad things happening. This story is no different, and I found myself skimming to get to the end where the phantom coach makes its appearance. This style may work for some people, but it doesn’t for me, unfortunately.

Grade: C

Blessed be the Bloody by Monette Bebow-Reinhard

The problems with author name and story title continue here. Nicky refers to this author as “Moenette” in the “Editor’s Lounge”. Also, the title of the story in the body of the anthology is “Blessed Are the Bloody” not “Be”.

This story is an “adaption” of Nicky’s “Bloodletting”. While Ms. Bebow-Reinhard has made some improvements, including giving the story more of a plot, she has also left some of Nicky’s laughable original lines intact, including the infamous, “thou shalt not allow a witch suffereth to live.” The story involves a vampire loose on the floor of a hospital, killing patients right and left without the hospital doing the sensible thing and either evacuating or calling the cops. A nurse, who turns out to be a witch, fights with the vampire although it is ultimately killed by the narrator – Theo Wolfe – pulling open the curtains of a hospital room and letting in the sun…at 3:00 a.m. Er, yeah.

As a side note, Ms. Bebow-Reinhard has written a couple of Bonanza fan-fic novels, which are supposedly “authorized” and are available on Amazon. She has a habit of responding poorly to negative reviews, although not as poorly as Nicky.

Grade: D+

Conjurella: The Unauthorized Version by T. Casey Brennan

Nicky has misspelled a word in the title of this story in body of anthology – “Authorized” is “Autorized”.  Also, the Table of Contents says this story starts on page 126, when it actually starts on page 136.

I think this story is supposed to be non-fiction; I think it is the writer discussing some events earlier in his life. Unfortunately, the story didn’t resonate with me at all – I don’t know who this person is and there was nothing in the beginning of the narrative to connect his experiences to anything besides himself, no larger lesson, no philosophical observations, nothing.  I quit reading after a couple of pages.

Edited to add: This story can be read on-line for free here.

Grade: DNF


Anonymous said...

T. Casey Brennan used to write comic stories for Warren (publisher of Creepy, Eerie, Vampirella, etc.) in the 70s, IIRC.


Nickolaus Pacione said...

Listen you faceless whore, are you really that fucking hellbent to stifle every sale I have? I went back and fixed the table of contents. Now shut your shitfilled hole and let people buy the magazine

Jenny said...

Hi, Nicky. Seeing your post here reminds that I need to post another day's worth of reviews. It does appear that you've fixed the typos I found and commented on. You haven't fixed the others, though.

And after I finish reviewing EG12 and EG 10, I think I'll tackle this: http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/modern-love/14261045. I'm not much for poetry, but he doesn't seem half bad. LOL.

Lewis said...

Oh, Crumpet, you silly widdle strumpet. Jenny is hardly stopping people from purchasing copies, she's merely performing the sacred duty of the critic. Which of course as you know is to examine the product before her and provide an open and honest opinion of its strengths and weaknesses so as to allow others to make an educated decision as to whether or not it's worth their hard earned dollars.

Maybe you should try reading the ongoing review? Where she feels a story is worthy of praise she has given it, and moreover she's been quite up front about any personal biases she may have.

And finally before I go have a nice cup of hot chocolate to warm myself up you shouldn't be angry about having to fix so many typos, you should be bloody ashamed. Mistakes happen and even the best of editors let the odd typo slip through but I doubt any of them would feel anything less than abject shame at letting the number of typos and grammatical errors into the finished product that you apparently have. Maybe it's time to find yourself a co-editor, one for whom English is at least a second language?

Anonymous said...

Nicky, while you're fixing your contents lists, can you fix all the errors on issue 10 as well - at least 4 authors names spelt wrong in there as well...

Anonymous said...

when can we see some more reviews????

Jenny said...

@the last anon: Thank you for prodding me. I've got another day up, and more will come soon.

Nickolaus Pacione said...

Look you faceless sow. How long do you plan to destroy my name and my book titles? I am planning to do Tabloid Purposes 6 and 7 then calling it Gemini. If you think editing is a cakewalk, do your own anthology you fucking faceless bitch. For the record, Lake Fossil Press is based in Joliet now. You're up there with that dick who shot up the Congressmen in AZ because he's also a grammar nazi.

Jenny said...

No, Nicky, I think editing is hard work, and you clearly suck at it.

And Lake Fossil Press is not based out of Joliet; there's nothing there but a P.O. Box - no office, no work gets done there, etc. Lake Fossil Press is based out of Granny's Basement, Morris, Illinois. Bitching about it won't change it.