Nicky Remembers I Wrote a Better Tabloid Purposes

Today I checked the Lulu page for "Tabloid Purposes: A Road Trip" and found that little Nicky had been there recently.

Nicky has this to say in a review posted on February 23, 2010:

This isn't parody this is plagiarisum. This author is made a horror target by her real name in a new novella I am working on. Her career is dead on the water so she decided to urinate on the real Tabloid Purposes.

The following tags were also added that day:

• "author" is a CUNT
• plagiarism
• UTTER SHIT

Wonder who left those...

***UPDATE***

I've reported the "author is a cunt" and "plagiarism" tags to Lulu support and asked that they be removed. We'll see what happens.

Nicky Slides Back Into His Old Ways

Nicky's hiatus -- or should that be "hitatus"? -- from the Internet apparently hasn't helped him develop any self-control.

In 2006, Nicky posted a typical rambling story on Authorsden. On November 11, 2008, he received a less than complimentary review from Persephone in Pink (that name is familiar, I think from Deviant Art...). No response from Nicky until six days ago. Then he had this to say:

Perserpiss -- FUCK OFF AND DIE CUNT

Nicky also posted some notes about Spectral Exile. PiP left a comment, again back in November 2008. On January 23, 2010, Nicky responded:

Hey Persepiss In Pink -- SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHINY BITCH! You're ruining it for the people who actually enjoy the story you goddamnned CUNT! Die already.

And even earlier, in response to PiP's comments on Insect:

To P.I.P -- F**K OFF

He hasn't responded to PiP's comments on Storms of Armageddon, Darkness from the Skies, House of Spiders, 144,000, Observations of an Abandoned Seminary, and a couple of others. I can only assume he hasn't found them yet. I particularly liked this suggestion from PiP on Observations:

It is funny for you to write about a college, because you don't write like someone who has ever set foot at one--even a haunted and abandoned one! What would be really funny would be to write a story in awful grammar about someone who goes to an abandoned college and is surrounded by the ghosts of professors who rise up and beat him/her with rulers made of ectoplasm! If you don't want to go through the trouble of revising this story, you could add that in.

Ah, yes, the old Nicky is back.

***UPDATE***

Nicky responded to PiP's comments on 144,000: "PERSEPISS -- DO THE FUCKING WORLD A FAVOR AND GET YOURSELF AN ANALLY INFLICITED DEATH SENTENCE!"

I wonder if he has finally violated Authorsden's TOS badly enough to get himself kicked off the site...

Tabloid Purposes on the Kindle and Other Stuff

I have received no ungrammatical sputtering from Nicky in regards to my query. I suspect he simply deleted it unread when he saw my e-mail address. Maybe the boi has learned some self-control after all.

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I did briefly look at the story Mike Ault had in the earlier Tabloid Purposes (can't remember if it was I or II right now), and it was a Lovecraft-like story where a man wanders off into a jungle and sees something scary. Those types of stories don't work for me. I prefer stories where the characters are active participants, not "mere observers".

Mr. Ault has two stories in the later TP, but I haven't read those.

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Downloads of "Tabloid Purposes - A Road Trip" now stand at 255. Someone suggested that I put this up on Amazon as a free Kindle download, but I'm not sure it's worth the effort. It's only funny to people who know Nicky, and those folks have already had a chance to download it. Anyone else would probably read it and think "Huh?" Thoughts?

If I did it, I'd certainly need to go back and edit it again. I've been avoiding re-reading it because I'm worried that now, with some distance and a clear head, it's going to read badly and that I'll feel embarrassed for having put such silliness up for public consumption. Denial is a wonderful thing.